Do you live in Nothing, Arizona? You probably think it’s a joke, but at one point people lived there. There are over 50 completely absurd names of cities and towns in the United States of America, and even more overseas. Some were just odd, some not funny enough to make the cut, and I wasn’t allowed to put a few names on the list because they were… a little too off color (not in my mind, but the advisors’ minds).  I pulled out fifteen or sixteen town names and knocked it down to the ten that made the list following.  Here they are…

10.

Santa Claus, Arizona

Tenth on this list is the town of Santa Claus, Arizona.  About fourteen miles away from the city of Kingman, Arizona, Santa Claus was a once festive city on the decline.  Some people think the city is on its last legs; that it was a formerly great city with a great name at its demise.  But I hope this city can keep going.  Plus, it’s fun to have a laugh when someone says that they’re from Santa Claus!

9.

Toast, North Carolina

We will have to travel back east to North Carolina to find the city that made number nine on this list.  Toast, North Carolina is a city name I find very absurd.  It is just west of Mount Airy… North Carolina.  The town of Toast was given its name by the Post Office Department after an old post office with that name that had been going since the early 1930’s.  It might not seem as funny as some of the towns further down on this list…

8.

Accident, Maryland

THIS SMALL TOWN IS NOT AN ACCIDENT!!!  Located in Garrett county in the state of Maryland, this small town doesn’t even take up half a square mile of space at 0.49 sq. miles!  It has a population to match with a whopping 325 people in 2010!  Talk about hyoooooooogge!  The town’s population density is about 660/sq. mile, seeing that the town takes up only half of that space.  That’s funny.  And saying that you are from Accident is almost saying that you are from an accident.

7.

Imalone, Wisconsin

“I’m from… Imalone.  Imalone.”

“No, you are not alone.  We’re all in this together.”

“No.  I’m from Imalone.  Imalone, Wisconsin.  It’s the community I am from.”

This place is unincorporated located in northern Wisconsin, the place was named when the establisher was asked what the place he was living in was called.  He said “I’m alone” because he was.  The salesman who asked him wrote “Imalone” on the invoice.

6.

Unalaska, Alaska

The most un-Alaskan town in Alaska.  It is very unalaskan.

5.

Los Baños, California (translates to The Bathrooms, California)

If you have to take a leak, this is the place to be.  It is located in central California.

4.

Oatmeal, Texas

Some people from this small town in the very middle of Texas have problems saying where they’re from.  “I’m from Oatmeal!” will make at least some people very confused when they think the person they’re talking to is from a gloppy breakfast food.

3.

Pee Pee, Ohio

This place’s name is worse than the Cleveland Browns were this year.  I feel bad for the 7,800 people that live there because they have to claim to people that they were born in some piss.  I think that this town should be near Los Baños, California.

2.

Nothing, Arizona

My runner up is Nothing, Arizona.  Telling someone that you live in Nothing seems like a trick some person would tell to a gullible little kid.  It is nothing, however: its population at its height was a whopping four people, and it was abandoned in 2005.  It was founded in 1977.

Here’s a funny quote about the ghost town:

“Town of Nothing Arizona. Founded 1977. Elevation 3269ft.”

The staunch citizens of Nothing are full of Hope, Faith, and Believe in the work ethic. Thru-the-years-these dedicated people had faith in Nothing, hoped for Nothing, worked at Nothing, for Nothing.”

1.

Hell, Michigan

How this southern Michigan town got its name, I do not know.  But some people have to say that they were born in Hell, live in Hell, work in Hell, and some of them even like Hell! Near Hell Creek, this place is hell on earth.

 

Written by Ian Kohn